Wednesday, 6 February 2013

All you need is love..

First of all...Happy Valentines Day! 
Since Valentines Day is all about the love, I thought I would share with my readers the only love I have ever had or first love! I was so hesitant about writing this post or sharing these photos because I was scared people might get the wrong idea...but then I thought well that is the problem right there. No this isn't my boyfriend, it was, and no I do not wish him to be my boyfriend again. 
 When you talk about your Ex... you either talk trash because you want to seem over him and you want to hate him. Or you talk fondly of him and it is perceived that you want him back or your 'obsessed' with him.
Well I am neither. Truth is..he is a great guy, just not the guy for me! (and he says the same about me)
Why can't we just accept it and appreciate it? The fact is... you were with him or her for a reason, you liked them or even better you... loved them! 
To experience love is the greatest feeling in the world. It doesn't matter how it started or how badly it ended. There were a few years, a few days or a few moments that you were truly happy and perhaps your good days out weighed your bad days. As they say, "it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all". 

I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. You begin a relationship for a reason, you continue it for a reason and you end it for a reason. 
Every relationship you are in or you have been in is a learning experience. You learn what you want in a relationship and what you dont want. You know what your looking for in your next relationship or what you wish to change about your current one. 

So why am I still so optomistic about love? Because thats the most important thing I learnt in my relationship .. what love feels like. I have never been happier in my life than the time when I was in love. We were like those obnoxiously cute, perfect, dramatic couples that were always kissing, cuddling, talking about each other and were completely inseparable. We did everything together, stayed in together, partied together, travelled the world together and even wore matching outfits lol.We started dating after a few days, we said I love you after a few weeks and we moved in together after a few months. We fell hard and fast. 

So why did it work? Timing. So why didn't it work? Timing. 
We found each other just at the right time...and we moved away from each other at an even better time.     Our breakup was caused by the typical reasons that break up a long distance relationship: jealousy, doubts, infidelity and trust. But the reality was... we needed to end it for ourselves so we could experience life- and be independent. After two and half years together and living together, we had surpassed our expiration date. We were at different stages in our life, and as sad as it sounds we simply did not need each other anymore. We had our time, we had our fun, but it was time to grow apart and experience life apart, life with our friends, family, at home or at college.... and life with other partners! "Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy". 

Our relationship was not perfect, in fact it was hard at times and the breakup was even harder. Yes I was a 'crazy ex gf' to begin with, but as I was crying on the couch with a broken heart thinking my entire world was over my Dad gave me the best advice. He simply said 'Don't be sad and mad at the one bad thing he did. Be grateful and happy for all the good times you had.' After many abusive emails and messages sent to my ex, I sent one that I genuinely meant. I said even after all that has happened I don't want to be bitter, because the truth is you made me happy more times then you made me sad. And I wouldn't take back one day... even the bad ones. I am thankful that I met him, I am thankful for everything he did for me and I am thankful that we are still friends. We both changed each other for the better, what is not to be thankful about that? 

I don't know if anyone is reading this, or you feel like vomiting because it is so cheesy. But I love...LOVE! I was a cold hearted, cynical biatch before I fell in love... now I got a taste of it, I want it again..but bigger and better! 

So if you felt it..don't hate on it. People aren't perfect, don't hang up on there flaws and don't hate on your past. People make mistakes, people hurt you, people let you down...but unfortunately that is life! And you will also do these things to other people...but you need to live and learn. Use it to improve your future. I am enjoying being single, and finding out exactly what I want in life and out of myself. With my first love, I became consumed by the relationship  dependent on my partner, and lost my sense of self identity. And thats ok, because fortunately he was a good influence on me, he believed in me and was always motivating me in the right direction. But I learnt that you can't depend on someone for support, encouragement and guidance as much as I did. It has to come from within, and you have to be able to believe in your own self worth before you start to depend on others. Being single allows you to discover what you truly want out of life. Take time to discover YOU, make mistakes, set goals and set standards and explore the world! Make sure you figure that out before you let someone else influence it. 

So moral of the story, don't be ashamed and hate on past loves. Don't hate on ur ex, live and learn! Wish them the best and move on.... Don't be hateful, jealous, or spiteful. Don't be hung up that it ended, be grateful that it started! Don't be ashamed that you let your self be vulnerable, naive or used. Be proud that you experienced it, learnt from it and you wont let it happen again.  Don't be ashamed of being single, embrace it! And if you are in love...enjoy it! 

Happy Valentines Day everyone!! I hope you enjoyed this was hard to write but if you can't write about love on Valentines day when can you? I am thankful for experiencing it and I am thankful for witnessing it. My parents have been married for 34 years... truly remarkable in todays world! 

I want to know about your stories, or what you thought about this post! Comment below or message me on my facebook page here!

Summer xx